Tactics of a Seaweed Brain
by awesome-sadist
Summary: His heart only has eyes for her and he'll do anything just to make her his. Even if it'll result to complete and utter embarrassment on his part. AU/AH.
1. Poor Me

**A/N: **Hey guys! New story from me! ^_^

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Chapter 1: Poor Me

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This is utterly unbelievable and stupid. I've got to stop this right now before –

"Percy?"

I jumped suddenly from my squatting position by the bushes and let out a nervous laugh after seeing my cousins, Nico di Angelo and Thalia Grace. They raised brows, looked at my previous "spot", then at the store across from where we're currently at, and finally laughed boisterously.

"Oh…Oh gods, were you in the middle of stalking?!" Thalia, the ever punk and blunt cousin of mine, wheezed.

I turned pink at that. Gods that sounded so gay. Upon seeing my pink face, the two erupted into fits of laughter again. Geez, talk about ruining my man pride.

"If you're so desperate, why don't you just go and talk to her like a normal person?" Nico asked after calming down.

My face turned sour at his words. "Ugh. You know my womanizing skills are just as low as my grades are in High School, so why should I go for it and possibly ruin the chance of talking to her at all?"

I probably should tell you that my report card is a shame to look at. I know, I know, you're probably wondering why I'm able to attend college…actually, I'm wondering about that myself.

Oh, I haven't introduced myself yet? Well, the name's Percy Jackson, 19, and a freshman student at Olympus University. I'm taking up Marine Biology simply because I like swimming and I love the ocean. I like blue food and I'm a total sucker when it comes to girls. Yeah, what a total loser, I know.

"Okay, okay, we understand, just don't turn into Nico#2. I don't think I'll be able to handle another brooding/emo member in our crazy family." Thalia said.

"Hey!" Nico and I protested in unison. Thalia just rolled her eyes and grabbed me.

"C'mon, Kelp Head. Let's take you to our workplace!"

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I forgot to mention to you guys that Thalia and Nico work part-time at the store that I've been '_stalking' _(it's not stalking, you guys!)a while ago. It's not really a store, but rather a café. It's called Café Half Blood. It sounds cool, I know, and the best part is that it's Greek-themed.

I don't know the history of the place and its workers, but all I know is that the workers have known each other since they were kids and that they treat the owner as their "second father". I've known most of the employees since I've been coming here for the past three months. I'd probably still come here even after school starts (it's still summer vacation after all).

The only weird thing for me is that I still don't know my crush's name. I mean come on, three months and still no knowledge of her name? Everybody that works here knows I have a huge crush on her and that they tag-teamed to make my love life suffer.

Every time they'll see me enter the shop, they'd turn to call my crush "A". Yes people, just that letter. Then they'd smirk and make kissing faces whenever A's back is facing me.

Speaking of her, the girl I've been stalking (there, I finally admitted it) for the past three months is my cousin's best friend. She has this curly blonde hair that smells very citrusy (I'm not a creep, I just somehow smelled it when she was the one who served my food) and intelligent stormy gray eyes. Her eyes are somewhat intimidating, but that adds to her charm.

I fell in love the first time I saw her. Cliché, I know, but I just felt that way. I'm still finding out the true reason why I fell for her, but oh well.

"Hey Percy!" They greeted. See what I mean by I've known them and vice versa?

"Hello, Percy, I've reserved table Three for you." Katie Gardner said sweetly. Table Three is my favorite table since it's ocean-themed. It's also called Poseidon's table, which, coincidentally, is the same name as that of my father.

I smiled at her in return and proceeded to go to my favorite table after I saw Travis Stoll (Katie's boyfriend) glare at my direction. He eventually calmed down after realizing that I only have eyes for A.

"Hey A, Percy's here again! Could you serve him?" Travis called out with a knowing glint in his eyes. I scowled at him.

A suddenly emerged from the kitchen with a pen and paper in her hand. She smiled after seeing me and I tried not to drool at how beautiful she looked.

"The usual again, Percy?" She asked.

"Y-Yes p-please." I stuttered. Gods, I'm an idiot! Can't I stop acting like a total sissy for once! Ugh!

"Okay. I'll be done in the next ten minutes or so." She said with a playful wink that made my knees buckle.

When A went inside the kitchen, the rest of the employees (my cousins included) sent me a knowing look while snickering. Gods, I want to jump a cliff right now!

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**A/N: **Was it okay? Please do tell me, I'd love to hear from you. Teehee XD


	2. Guessing Her Name

**A/N: **Sorry for the late update guys, I was upset with everything around me. I've gone unto a series of serious depression and resentment towards people. I'm better now thanks to my close friend who unknowingly provided me the comfort I needed the most. Anyways, let's get on with the show!

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Chapter Two – Guessing Her Name

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True to her word, A came back ten minutes later with my order on the tray she's carrying. She stopped by my left side and gracefully placed the cup of hot chocolate with a swirl of blue cream and a plate full of blue waffles with blue syrup. Yes people, it's blue. Go figure.

Café Half-Blood is definitely unique because it customizes the orders according to the customers' requests. No matter how absurd or weird or even impossible it may be, CHB will really do the customizing. It's downright awesome, I tell you.

"Do you need anything else, Percy?"

_**You**_, I said in my mind but I thankfully did not voice that out. I shook my head and she gave me a smile. Instead of giving her my winning smile, (oh who am I kidding? I don't even know how to do a winning smile) I gave her a grimace in turn because my stomach's doing stupid somersaults.

A raised her brows at my pathetic response, shrugged, and walked back towards her station.

"Nice move."

I almost choked on my waffles. Almost.

After drinking the cold water that my emo cousin offered, I coughed once and gave him a glare. Geez, I never even noticed him approach me. This guy's definitely creepy sometimes.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have work?" I asked, albeit rude.

Nico just waved his hands in dismissal and rolled his eyes. "Who cares about work when you're obviously having the failure of your life?"

"Meh. I wouldn't say that if I were you." Another voice joined us. I groaned. Thalia placed an empty pitcher on the table and scooted next to Nico.

"What do you mean?"

"If Clarisse heard you, you'd be dead by now." Thalia replied and popped her bubblegum. Nico paled at her words.

Clarisse La Rue is the café's resident security. She has a burly body with a permanent scowl in the face and an ill personality to match. She sits on a high chair by the corner, kind of like that of lifeguards, and keeps an eye over the flow of the café with her sunglasses on. I don't even know why she's placed there 'cause it's just plain weird, but then again, nothing of this shop is normal anyways.

"GRACE! DI ANGELO! NO SLACKING OFF!" The always-angry-at-everything girl yelled using her megaphone. Don't even ask why she's allowed to use that thing inside the shop in the first place.

The customers (with the exception of myself), having used to her constant yelling over the megaphone, just covered their ears and turned back to normal after her outburst. Like I said, everything inside here is nowhere near ordinary.

Thalia and Nico stood abruptly after the she-devil mentioned their names and bid me goodbye. Ugh! Finally I can enjoy my waffles and hot chocolate in peace.

As I continued eating, I looked around everything going on inside the shop. I saw my cousins bustling with orders and customers, Travis and Katie making out behind a potted plant with Charles Beckendorf and Silena Beauregard following suit, Connor Stoll and Leo Valdez setting the kitchen on fire, Jason Grace and Piper McLean extinguishing the said fire, and A stopping in the middle of the café and face-palming at the scene.

Clarisse barked at A and she in turn gave a death glare before treading towards the kitchen. Man, she has a nice bum – uhh, you didn't hear that from me.

I swiftly placed tissues on my nose before it gets worse.

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While staring at A's bum (shut up, I have no dignity left as we speak), I suddenly got this urge to make a list of things that I must do in order for me to get her. But as soon as the idea popped, I quickly dismissed it; knowing my luck, things will never be around in order. So, I decided to just do what I'm really good at: acting out of impulse. Yeah, that'll definitely work on me.

As I mentally pat and congratulated myself, I didn't notice when A settled comfortably on the seat across mine.

"Are you done yet?"

My eyes opened in shock and I actually had the decency to screech. A snorted but did not laugh in a loud manner which made me thankful for.

After I gathered enough sense, I cleared my throat and drank a bit of cold water. "So, uh, are you going to give me my bill?"

A drummed her fingers on the table and smiled slightly. "No, your bill's been taken care of actually."

What? "Huh?"

Instead of answering, the blonde jerked her head behind and sure enough, I saw the poorly concealed eavesdropping workers all hiding behind the potted plant.

"I was told you needed me for something." She continued.

I gave her a genuine blank look. Seeing my expression, her brows scrunched up in confusion.

"But didn't you call for me?" She asked again.

"No. And I don't even understand why they're taking care of my bill." A's expression darkened considerably and I actually leaned back a bit out of fear.

"Ooh, this makes me angry!" She stood.

Before she can go and kill her fellow employees, I grabbed her wrist out of impulse which made both of us surprised.

"I…um…well, you're here anyways so why don't we, y'know…talk?" I ask sheepishly as I released my grip on her wrist. A looked at her friends' cowering faces, sighed, and settled back on her seat.

We spent the next minutes in an awkward silence that's so tense you could probably use a knife to cut it. After a minute of suffocating silence, A sighed and decided to talk first.

"You know, I sometimes don't get why everybody suddenly stops saying my full name and instead calls me 'A'." Well that perked up my interest. A obliviously started rambling, which I truly find adorable.

"I mean, I don't mind the sudden change at all, but it's just weird. And this usually happens…" She suddenly stopped.

I leaned in and asked with wide eyes. "Usually happens what?"

"This usually happens…whenever you arrive." She finished with a dazed tone and looked at me curiously. I gulped. I didn't say anything because I seriously don't know how to start and I didn't want to point fingers at the already-guilty staff.

"Hey Percy, do you even know my real name?"

She hit me spot-on with that question. I started sweating bullets and desperately avoided her challenging smirk.

"Percy?"

"Ugh. No." I finally confessed.

Her smirk grew. "Alright, let's play a game. If you could guess my name correctly, I'll do whatever you wish for the next month. Anything, as long as that's within my abilities. There's no time limit for the guessing."

To be honest, it was a good deal. But from the stories I heard from my cousins, making deals with A needs proper thought and consideration. This fact prevented me from agreeing immediately. "But what if I can't?"

She raised her brows. "Wow, I'm impressed. You're the first person who didn't agree to my deal immediately. And to answer your question: if you lose, you'll work here for a month."

I smirked; the deal wasn't so bad. If I win, she'll be my girlfriend for a month. Plus, even if I do lose, I still can use the cash I'll earn when I work here at CHB for a month. Finding a win-win situation for me, I stuck out my hand. "Deal."

We shook hands and oh, it is so on.

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"The clue's already as obvious as the daylight."

"Hmm. So all I have to do is guess your name which starts with 'A'?" I asked as I grabbed a cookie from the plate offered by Katie.

"Yeah. In every wrong guess, I'll either shake my head, hum, or say no in general. If you'll guess it right I'll clap my hands, okay?"

"Okay. I'm ready."

"Okay, game start!"

"Amanda, Amelia, Artemis, Alexandria, Austria –"

"No, no, no, no and seriously Percy? Austria's a country."

"Is it? Oh well –" A made a face palm "—uh, Avril, Adele, Alicia…"

"Now you're mentioning singers…"

"Shh! I'm trying to concentrate! Ooh! Aubrey, Andromeda, Athena, Apple, Alice, Anne, Aphrodite." I looked at her in confirmation.

"Sadly all of them are a no."

"Uhm…Anna?"

She paused. "No."

"You totally paused back there! So I am right, right?"

"No! I said you're going to guess my full name and that isn't!"

Fine. I thought as I crossed my arms. So…her name is a combination eh?

"Annalisa."

"No."

"Anna Marie?"

"Nope."

"Anna Frank!"

"Stop messing facts, Percy. It's Anne Frank and it's still a no."

"Aww man!" I whined.

I thought for a bit as A drank water. It was at this moment that a girl with fiery red hair entered the shop. I recognize the bushy fiery red anywhere since my cousin *cough Nico cough* has a candid picture of her on his wallet. She's his crush, by the way.

"Annabeth!" She called out to the blonde but unfortunately she wasn't heard because Clarisse yelled through her megaphone at the same time. Thank gods I was able to hear and read her lips.

My eyes widened at that. Oh. My. Gods. Rachel Elizabeth Dare, you can marry my cousin right now. You totally have my blessing and I'll be the first to welcome you to the family!

"Annabeth," I said, still breathless. Hmm. Her name is beautiful, just like she is, and it actually fits.

A choked from her water and looked at me with wide eyes. Her expression was enough to tell me that I was correct.

"H-How…" Haha, I made her speechless.

It was right then and there that Rachel placed a hand on her shoulder. "There you are, Annabeth! I called you but unfortunately you didn't hear me."

Annabeth's stormy gray eyes turned extra thunderstorm dark. She grabbed the collar of my shirt and yanked me just inches from her face.

"You totally cheated." She said in an eerily deadly tone. I gulped, and so did Rachel, though hers was probably from shock.

Thankfully, Jason approached us and calmed Annabeth down. "He did not cheat. You didn't say anything about him hearing your name from someone else, Annabeth. So technically, he didn't cheat."

Annabeth listened to my cousin and smiled slightly. I admit I was a bit jealous at that. "Relax, Kelp Head, Jason already has Piper. Besides, there's no one better to calm an insanely genius and competitive girl than a person with the same caliber as she does."

That was Thalia's pathetic way of comforting me. Though, I must begrudgingly admit, that actually worked. I turn to look at Nico and inwardly laughed after seeing him turn into a blushing idiot.

"By the way…" All five of us turned our attention back to Annabeth. "How did you guys know about our deal? With the exception of Rachel who clearly doesn't know what's going on, only Percy and I knew about the deal and the conditions. So how come you know about it?"

Her accusing glare made Jason, Thalia and Nico cough in discomfort and made a pathetic excuse to leave. They hurriedly left before Annabeth could kill them and even pulled Rachel along. That leaves the two of us, again.

"Hey…if it helps, we can just cancel our condition." I smiled at her.

Annabeth smiled in return and shook her head. "I don't back out from my words, Percy. Anyways, it's okay."

"Well if that's the case, I want to get to know you better for the next month. And by that, I mean hang out with you, do things together and generally spend time with you." I don't know where I got this sudden boldness, but oh well, what's said is done.

"That's it?" She laughed. A very cute laugh that made my insides twist again in delight. "It's no trouble at all, Percy. Let's start with introductions, shall we?"

"Hi, I'm Perseus Jackson, Percy for short. I'm 19, a freshman taking up Marine Biology at Olympus University. I love the sea and the color blue."

Annabeth shook my hand and smiled. "Pleased to meet you, I'm Annabeth Chase, 19, also a freshman at Olympus University taking up Architecture. I love buildings and I don't have a permanent favorite color at the moment, but I'm starting to like green."

I grinned at her. Though I should've asked her to become my girlfriend, I suppose that that wouldn't have ended well. And I'm perfectly content with the events leading today. This is a definite progress, right?

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**A/N: **Phew! Finally finished! How do you like this chapter? Good? Bad? Boring? Anyways, let me hear your thoughts!

And oh, I'd like to mention those who reviewed, faved and followed this story. Unlike that of **The Baby Theory**'s format, I'll write it here on the bottom.

Thanks to: **Twiheart-HPlover, Fer Irais, hey123, mel, peanut-butter-mouse , Smilequigley96, Guest, GrimCreeper, A. world. within. a. book, Nico0070, Epicbanana122333, shairawaki, neontreesanimal, Finding Adventures, Creamoe, HellHead, Poseidon's Favorite Daughter, PreciousAlyssa, TheEyeOfThePheonix, emmaoconnor**

Anyways, when I'm better (my ulcer's acting up again), I'll post as soon as possible. See you and have a nice day! ^_^


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